Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
November 3, 2009
I have what we’ll call a delicate family situation right now. For the last three plus years I have been jumping in and taking care of all their concerns without any regard to how my choices were going to stack up against me. I was so busy saving them, that I stopped caring about myself in the process. Now I have realized the error of my ways and I am pulling back my help.
You see… people need consequences so that they understand what their actions mean. If you constantly rush in and save a person they will never stand up for themselves. They will be dis-empowered and unable to care for themselves. My need to save them transitioned from a little sting to a massive tsunami in my life. You feel this constant guilt and social duty to help your family. Its incredibly difficult to step back and say no.
Its only because I have finally had my “consequences” hit me hard that I have started reaching for my oxygen mask. I have a big hurdle to jump over now to get myself back on track after I let this situation develop. I know that I am RESPONSIBLE for letting myself not take care of me first. You will never be happy if you live for others and not for yourself. You come first… period. Once you are taken care of… you can CHOOSE to help others. Let go of social stigma and feelings of guilt or they will run you into the ground.
A simple question to ask yourself is: if the situation was reversed… would there be anyone there to save me? If the answer is no, its time to blow back up your life raft and let them worry about theirs all by themselves.
The Victor
March 14, 2009
The Victor
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will.
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are out classed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of your-self before
You can ever win the prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
by: C. W. Longenecker
Set Physical Challenges
March 10, 2009
When most people think of setting goals they focus on increasing income or buying some material possession. Setting a goal that focuses on a physical challenge can be just as rewarding. Indeed these types of goals can give you a huge mental boost because they do not focus on things that you cannot control. Your body is under your dominion. Now I am not talking about setting a goal related to releasing weight. When I talk about a physical goal I mean something like hiking up a mountain, competing in a race, swimming a certain number of miles or any other physical challenge you can think of.
You can also combine the goal with raising money for a charity. The Walk for the Cure even gives you a solid training program and support throughout your training period. Each portion of your physical goal can be broken down into measurable increments. Take a look at my last post on Conquering Half Dome for my own challenge I completed.
The first place you should start is picking a challenge. Then take an assessment of where your fitness level currently is. Can you hike 4 miles without getting too sore or tired or can you only do one? Then take your calendar and build a plan from now until the date of your event. Each week add a little more to your schedule. The last few weekends before I hiked half dome I was hiking 12+ miles each weekend to prepare for the 17 mile hike. Each week you will get stronger and faster. We started to blast through the 12 miles faster and faster. A full day ordeal starting taking a little over a half day to complete and I did not feel horrible at the end, I felt invigorated. Within a short amount of time you will start to marvel at the progress you’ve made and your self confidence levels will skyrocket.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
The Mental & Physical Opportunity Costs of Clutter
March 5, 2009
Have you ever come home and looked around your house and thought; “what exploded in here?” Your closets are over flowing, your desk is piled with paperwork and your kitchen cabinets are stuffed with no real organization or sense.
All of this clutter and disorder takes a mental and physical toll on your body and mind. You have to work harder to function in this type of environment. Your mind is slower when thinking because you have to process all the information that your eyes see when looking at the clutter. The difference between a clean and organized desk and a cluttered one is immense. All of this contributes subtlety to your stress level and takes a physical toll on your body. I think most people have studied at least to a small degree the effects of stress on the human body. Here is a short recap = it’s not good.
An opportunity cost is the “cost of an alternative that must be forgone in order to pursue a certain action.” [investopedia.com] The alternatives that you are giving up are a clean and uncluttered home and a reduction in stress. You are also giving up a great deal of your time each second you spend searching for items you can’t find, shuffling items from one spot to another and generally dealing with the mess. That extra time is time you could spend on building your business, developing a new product, going to the gym or just spending more quality time with loved ones. Additionally you are giving up the potential money you could get from selling some items or the tax breaks you would receive for donating them.
The easiest way to start to unravel a home full of too many things is to start small. Pick the most important place in your house that you use all the time and clean it up. For most people this will be their desk. Then just begin to tackle other areas and get rid of the excess. You have to make room for the things you want to keep so that they can be organized and out of your constant field of vision. Think to yourself if I had to move tomorrow would I want to keep this, if not chuck it.
After you start this process you will be pleasantly surprised by the calm feeling that takes over in your body when you come home. You’ll be more efficient and effective and your mind will thank you.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
What is Character?
February 11, 2009
Hyram Smith defines character as “The ability to carry out a worthy decision after the emotion of making that decision has passed.” This is what I like to call living in integrity with your goals. It is at its core doing what you say you are going to to when you say you are going to do it.
I have realized something about myself over the last few weeks. I have simply taken on way too much. I have a bunch of different projects competing for my time and I have spread myself a little thin. Did I cause this to happen, absolutely. Can I fix it? Yes, but I have made promises in the process and I have to honor those commitments. Regardless of how much I have going on at any one time I know that other people are counting on me to follow through with projects and tasks I agreed to complete. So even though I am very busy and a little tired I will stay up and finish what I started.
This leads into another thing that Hyram Smith said in his video on ILG: “If you develop a reputation for doing what you say you are going to do in the corporate world you can write your own ticket, because people know when you say something is going to happen it happens.” All businesses, bosses, spouses and even your friends are looking for one thing: dependability. When they need you and it matters can you deliver and can you stay true to your promises. Dust off those lingering promises and fulfill them. Trust me it will make you feel better [even if you are a little tired].
Christina Helwig
To learn more about Hyram Smith visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Stop Calling Your Income Disposable!
February 6, 2009
While driving home tonight from dinner I was having a conversation with Ray Stendall about how I built up disposable income for my new car. It struck me that the term “disposable” is a terrible term for individuals to use. It inherently makes you think of money as something that gets thrown away. Stay with me on this thought… If you think of money as something to be thrown away it means that you do not value it or respect it because its “trash.”
When it comes time to allocate where you spend money and how you decide to manage your income you will make different decisions if you change the way you talk about money. I challenge you to think about money as an investment. Say “I invested” in buying, food, clothes, paying rent, buying books or spending money on building my business. The fundamental shift in your thinking will over time change the way you spend money and your relationship to it.
By respecting money and taking it from being disposable to an investment you will have much better control of what happens when it comes time to balance the checkbook at the end of the week. Eventually you will also start to make mental choices you never thought possible. I personally want to continue to build my business. When I go out or make choices about where to spend my money, I think to myself “can I invest this” in my business or am I going to take the instant gratification that this purchase provides. It makes a difference. Often the smallest change in habits, especially your thinking habits, pay the biggest returns.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Retrain The People In Your Life
January 29, 2009
Now this title might seem a little controversial but the topic really has more to do with retraining yourself to not accept things from others that you do not like. I watched a great video this morning by Patricia Fripp who talked about this topic. She said that we start to run like trains through our lives. Always on the same track and if we are not careful the track we choose takes over.
In terms of the relationships you have with your friends, family, co-workers and even just general acquaintances this can add up to a lot of unconscious habits. I had a friend a few years ago that was constantly late. She never arrived on time and she would cancel after I had already arrived at a restaurant. Her behavior was totally unacceptable. However, I let her get away with it. I would say things like “oh I understand” or “its okay,” when what I should have been doing was telling her how I really felt.
After being stood up for several different events I finally broke and told her exactly how I felt. I let her know that I valued my time and I expected her to value it as well or we could no longer be friends. That shocked her. No one had ever spoken up for themselves with her and she had been doing this for years. Did my actions totally change her behavior? Sadly no, but I was able to stop being upset and feeling resentment over her treatment of me. For awhile she stopped flaking on me. When she started it again I made my choice and choose to be around people who treated me with more respect.
While the above example might be a little extreme I am sure that you can think of a few things that are going on in your relationships that bother you. Let me tell you a little secret. If you don’t tell the other person you never give them the option to fix it. You resent their actions unfairly.
Start to train yourself to speak up. Step off the railroad track you have laid down with the people around you and lay new habits. While you’re at it you should also take a hard look at your own actions to see if you are being the best friend, spouse, child, parent or co-worker you can be. Habits change overtime and sometimes the people around you will need gentle reminders before they can really implement the changes you ask for. Just be open and honest and have patience, your relationships will be stronger and happier if you adopt this process.
To learn more from Patricia Fripp visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Christina Helwig
Are You Providing Real Value?
January 23, 2009
“The Law of Value. Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.” ~ The Go-Giver.
Ask yourself today what are you doing to provide more value to the people around you? How are you improving the lives of your family, friends, co-workers and customers? Without providing value we stagnant our growth. We can fall into the trap of thinking that we will “never make it” or that we cannot do that which we most deeply desire.
To really live on purpose you should be providing value to as many people as possible. But remember that it is about quality, not quantity. For some time your business will only be able to provide the highest quality service to a few people. As you grow that will expand and then so will your economic power and reach.
Take a few moments today to think about how you can improve the level of service you offer to the people around you. Often a simple change in behavior brings huge results.
This is the very first law discussed in the book “The Go-Giver.” Again this book is a critical component of your library.
Please post how you will provide more value to cement your commitment inside your mind. Once you put something in writing it is 100% more effective at creating a change in your life.
To your success,
Christina
P.s. If you have not done so already you can join me in my Facebook group “Living on Purpose with Christina” for great discussion topics, homework assignments and questions to really make you think.
Mental Toughness ~ Do You Have It?
January 18, 2009
Yesterday I listened to Steve Siebold talk on mental toughness. Steve is a faculty member of ILG and he also runs the Gove-Siebold Group. Bill Gove was the father of public speaking and he trained almost every major personal development speaker out there including Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor and Larry Wilson.
Needless to say Steve knows his material. Steve also is my boyfriend’s direct mentor and is an amazing person. I got to spent some time with him on the Bob Proctor Cruise I took in October of 2008. Steve and his wife, Dawn are some of the most incredible people you will ever meet. When he coaches people on mental toughness he has them answer a series of important questions.
1. If you could wave a magic wand and have whatever you want in your life, what would that be?
2. What would your perfect lifestyle look like terms of health, wealth, relationships etc.?
3. If you could design your perfect calendar by day, week, month and year, what would your days look like?
4. Lastly, write a letter to a friend as if it was five years from today and you are filling them in on what has happened in your life.
These questions are important for you to think about when trying to build a life for yourself. The reason that Steve has you go through all these steps is that he wants you to emotionalize your goals. Without emotion mixed in with your dreams you will not accomplish anything.
You have to know your WHY? Without a strong why it will be difficult for you to achieve anything. This detailed process is one of the techniques that Steve uses to coach people on mental toughness. His book is absolutely fantastic and is a constant reference of mine. You can get a copy here: 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class
Most people will say that they want to be rich without any understanding what that means. Let me tell you something very plain and simple right now. THE RICH DO NOT SIT AROUND ALL DAY AND DO NOTHING. They WORK! Building businesses and developing products and new concepts is not an easy process or one that takes little effort. It requires a great deal of mental energy and long days and nights, especially in the beginning.
Answer the questions I raised above and make sure your answers are clear and crisp. Anyone picking up your responses should be able to clearly see what you want. The clearer you are, the more likely you will achieve what you write down. Don’t just pass this opportunity by. Really sit down and do this simple assignment. It will help immensely.
Christina Helwig
Start Your Day With Great Affirmations
January 14, 2009
Here is another great affirmations video from the movie “The Secret.” Enjoy this and watch it often. Many of the teachers from “The Secret” are faculty members of iLearningGlobal. I watch at least one new video from this service everyday. It helps me stay focused on my goals and is the inspiration for many of my blog posts. Learn more here: www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Christina Helwig