Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
November 3, 2009
I have what we’ll call a delicate family situation right now. For the last three plus years I have been jumping in and taking care of all their concerns without any regard to how my choices were going to stack up against me. I was so busy saving them, that I stopped caring about myself in the process. Now I have realized the error of my ways and I am pulling back my help.
You see… people need consequences so that they understand what their actions mean. If you constantly rush in and save a person they will never stand up for themselves. They will be dis-empowered and unable to care for themselves. My need to save them transitioned from a little sting to a massive tsunami in my life. You feel this constant guilt and social duty to help your family. Its incredibly difficult to step back and say no.
Its only because I have finally had my “consequences” hit me hard that I have started reaching for my oxygen mask. I have a big hurdle to jump over now to get myself back on track after I let this situation develop. I know that I am RESPONSIBLE for letting myself not take care of me first. You will never be happy if you live for others and not for yourself. You come first… period. Once you are taken care of… you can CHOOSE to help others. Let go of social stigma and feelings of guilt or they will run you into the ground.
A simple question to ask yourself is: if the situation was reversed… would there be anyone there to save me? If the answer is no, its time to blow back up your life raft and let them worry about theirs all by themselves.
What Does It Mean To Be Rich?
April 8, 2009
I used to think that being rich meant that you had millions of dollars, a fancy car, a big house and a myriad of other niceties in your life. Now however, I am not so sure. To me being rich means that you are debt free and you have more than enough to cover your needs and reasonable wants. It also means having the resources to help the people in your life you care about.
What this really comes down to is monthly cash flow. Are you on a whole taking in more than you spend and do you have reserves should an big emergency arise? If I answer this question for myself the answer is an emphatic no. With that I know I have some work to do. First I have to figure out what I need to live. Then I need to calculate what I would need to live the way I want to live.
My goal then becomes closing that gap. You see when you put up a goal of I want to be a “millionaire” you really are saying “I want to live like a millionaire.” What we often do not understand is that even some millionaires are deeply in debt and are themselves living paycheck to paycheck. If your wealth is not long lasting why bother. You want to maintain that lifestyle for the long-run, not for a few short intense years.
Additionally by focusing on the monthly gap you need to bridge, the goal seems much more reasonable to your brain. You can mentally process it and your subconscious mind will start to accept the goal as possible. Its when we think something is possible that things start to happen.
Your next step in this process is to sit down and brainstorm all the different ways you can bridge your gap. Really get creative. Its the simple changes and ideas that make the greatest impact. Then take action on the items you brainstormed. If one doesn’t work then try another until it sticks.
Without action you will stay in the same position you are currently in or be in a worse one, a year from now. This I can promise you. Nothing happens without action. Without it you are merely a dreamer. So get moving and make yourself rich, its only a tiny gap.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
The Skill Of Choosing
April 3, 2009
Here is a great video from Trapper Woods a faculty member of iLearningGlobal. I try to watch a video every morning to perk up my day and get myself into the right mindset. Trapper has been one of my favorites. His videos on time and task management are priceless.
To learn more about ILG visit: www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Christina Helwig
Are You Willing To Pay “The Price”
February 23, 2009
Often we set our hearts on a goal or something we would like to have in our lives and we consistently fail to realize it. For some inexplicable reason we stumble and the dream never materializes. We look back and blame external circumstances or people and events. For a select few they also look within and see that their own habits, thoughts and actions played a role in not achieving what they wanted.
There is a very fundamental question you should be asking yourself in these circumstances. Was I willing to pay the price? Paying the price of having your goal involves more than merely going through the motions. It requires a deep unyielding commitment to achieve your goal no matter what it costs you in terms of money, time, habit changes, thought pattern changes and release of unserving beliefs and activities. It’s that extra push of energy that a champion exerts to win a race or the last steps of a grueling walk to freedom.
There is also something very special about “the price.” The price is personal its not based on what others have done to achieve what you want. The price is solely determinate on what you have to do to achieve your goal and nothing else. Your price might be more or less than what is required of another individual.
You lose ground when you start making comparisons. Another person’s actions and thoughts can serve as a guidepost but they should never be set up as the standard for what is necessary to achieve YOUR goals. Your price is personal and should always be treated as such. Stop feeling sorry for yourself when you have to work harder to achieve something. There are a great deal of things you do with minimal effort that others struggle through.
Remember this and rexamine your recent setbacks to see if you were really paying YOUR price.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
What is Character?
February 11, 2009
Hyram Smith defines character as “The ability to carry out a worthy decision after the emotion of making that decision has passed.” This is what I like to call living in integrity with your goals. It is at its core doing what you say you are going to to when you say you are going to do it.
I have realized something about myself over the last few weeks. I have simply taken on way too much. I have a bunch of different projects competing for my time and I have spread myself a little thin. Did I cause this to happen, absolutely. Can I fix it? Yes, but I have made promises in the process and I have to honor those commitments. Regardless of how much I have going on at any one time I know that other people are counting on me to follow through with projects and tasks I agreed to complete. So even though I am very busy and a little tired I will stay up and finish what I started.
This leads into another thing that Hyram Smith said in his video on ILG: “If you develop a reputation for doing what you say you are going to do in the corporate world you can write your own ticket, because people know when you say something is going to happen it happens.” All businesses, bosses, spouses and even your friends are looking for one thing: dependability. When they need you and it matters can you deliver and can you stay true to your promises. Dust off those lingering promises and fulfill them. Trust me it will make you feel better [even if you are a little tired].
Christina Helwig
To learn more about Hyram Smith visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Stop Calling Your Income Disposable!
February 6, 2009
While driving home tonight from dinner I was having a conversation with Ray Stendall about how I built up disposable income for my new car. It struck me that the term “disposable” is a terrible term for individuals to use. It inherently makes you think of money as something that gets thrown away. Stay with me on this thought… If you think of money as something to be thrown away it means that you do not value it or respect it because its “trash.”
When it comes time to allocate where you spend money and how you decide to manage your income you will make different decisions if you change the way you talk about money. I challenge you to think about money as an investment. Say “I invested” in buying, food, clothes, paying rent, buying books or spending money on building my business. The fundamental shift in your thinking will over time change the way you spend money and your relationship to it.
By respecting money and taking it from being disposable to an investment you will have much better control of what happens when it comes time to balance the checkbook at the end of the week. Eventually you will also start to make mental choices you never thought possible. I personally want to continue to build my business. When I go out or make choices about where to spend my money, I think to myself “can I invest this” in my business or am I going to take the instant gratification that this purchase provides. It makes a difference. Often the smallest change in habits, especially your thinking habits, pay the biggest returns.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
A Healthy Affirmation
February 5, 2009
This is a great affirmation video to help keep you on track with your fitness goals. Our self-esteem is often very closely tied to our body image. Watch it whenever you feel yourself needing an extra boost. Its a great way to start the day. If you find yourself needing any extra help reaching your fitness goals just e-mail me at tinahelwig@gmail.com. I am always happy to offer suggestions and help. Your transformation does not have to be an uphill battle.
Christina Helwig
Retrain The People In Your Life
January 29, 2009
Now this title might seem a little controversial but the topic really has more to do with retraining yourself to not accept things from others that you do not like. I watched a great video this morning by Patricia Fripp who talked about this topic. She said that we start to run like trains through our lives. Always on the same track and if we are not careful the track we choose takes over.
In terms of the relationships you have with your friends, family, co-workers and even just general acquaintances this can add up to a lot of unconscious habits. I had a friend a few years ago that was constantly late. She never arrived on time and she would cancel after I had already arrived at a restaurant. Her behavior was totally unacceptable. However, I let her get away with it. I would say things like “oh I understand” or “its okay,” when what I should have been doing was telling her how I really felt.
After being stood up for several different events I finally broke and told her exactly how I felt. I let her know that I valued my time and I expected her to value it as well or we could no longer be friends. That shocked her. No one had ever spoken up for themselves with her and she had been doing this for years. Did my actions totally change her behavior? Sadly no, but I was able to stop being upset and feeling resentment over her treatment of me. For awhile she stopped flaking on me. When she started it again I made my choice and choose to be around people who treated me with more respect.
While the above example might be a little extreme I am sure that you can think of a few things that are going on in your relationships that bother you. Let me tell you a little secret. If you don’t tell the other person you never give them the option to fix it. You resent their actions unfairly.
Start to train yourself to speak up. Step off the railroad track you have laid down with the people around you and lay new habits. While you’re at it you should also take a hard look at your own actions to see if you are being the best friend, spouse, child, parent or co-worker you can be. Habits change overtime and sometimes the people around you will need gentle reminders before they can really implement the changes you ask for. Just be open and honest and have patience, your relationships will be stronger and happier if you adopt this process.
To learn more from Patricia Fripp visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Christina Helwig
Causation by Thomas Troward
January 25, 2009
This is a great little video on the subject of Causation written by Thomas Troward. The music that the person set to the video is a little different [more appropriate for belly dancing in my opinion, but that's okay]. Be sure to read and really think about what is said/written in the video. For more great videos visit:www.GlobalSuccessILG.com.
Are You Providing Real Value?
January 23, 2009
“The Law of Value. Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.” ~ The Go-Giver.
Ask yourself today what are you doing to provide more value to the people around you? How are you improving the lives of your family, friends, co-workers and customers? Without providing value we stagnant our growth. We can fall into the trap of thinking that we will “never make it” or that we cannot do that which we most deeply desire.
To really live on purpose you should be providing value to as many people as possible. But remember that it is about quality, not quantity. For some time your business will only be able to provide the highest quality service to a few people. As you grow that will expand and then so will your economic power and reach.
Take a few moments today to think about how you can improve the level of service you offer to the people around you. Often a simple change in behavior brings huge results.
This is the very first law discussed in the book “The Go-Giver.” Again this book is a critical component of your library.
Please post how you will provide more value to cement your commitment inside your mind. Once you put something in writing it is 100% more effective at creating a change in your life.
To your success,
Christina
P.s. If you have not done so already you can join me in my Facebook group “Living on Purpose with Christina” for great discussion topics, homework assignments and questions to really make you think.