Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
November 3, 2009
I have what we’ll call a delicate family situation right now. For the last three plus years I have been jumping in and taking care of all their concerns without any regard to how my choices were going to stack up against me. I was so busy saving them, that I stopped caring about myself in the process. Now I have realized the error of my ways and I am pulling back my help.
You see… people need consequences so that they understand what their actions mean. If you constantly rush in and save a person they will never stand up for themselves. They will be dis-empowered and unable to care for themselves. My need to save them transitioned from a little sting to a massive tsunami in my life. You feel this constant guilt and social duty to help your family. Its incredibly difficult to step back and say no.
Its only because I have finally had my “consequences” hit me hard that I have started reaching for my oxygen mask. I have a big hurdle to jump over now to get myself back on track after I let this situation develop. I know that I am RESPONSIBLE for letting myself not take care of me first. You will never be happy if you live for others and not for yourself. You come first… period. Once you are taken care of… you can CHOOSE to help others. Let go of social stigma and feelings of guilt or they will run you into the ground.
A simple question to ask yourself is: if the situation was reversed… would there be anyone there to save me? If the answer is no, its time to blow back up your life raft and let them worry about theirs all by themselves.
What Does It Mean To Be Rich?
April 8, 2009
I used to think that being rich meant that you had millions of dollars, a fancy car, a big house and a myriad of other niceties in your life. Now however, I am not so sure. To me being rich means that you are debt free and you have more than enough to cover your needs and reasonable wants. It also means having the resources to help the people in your life you care about.
What this really comes down to is monthly cash flow. Are you on a whole taking in more than you spend and do you have reserves should an big emergency arise? If I answer this question for myself the answer is an emphatic no. With that I know I have some work to do. First I have to figure out what I need to live. Then I need to calculate what I would need to live the way I want to live.
My goal then becomes closing that gap. You see when you put up a goal of I want to be a “millionaire” you really are saying “I want to live like a millionaire.” What we often do not understand is that even some millionaires are deeply in debt and are themselves living paycheck to paycheck. If your wealth is not long lasting why bother. You want to maintain that lifestyle for the long-run, not for a few short intense years.
Additionally by focusing on the monthly gap you need to bridge, the goal seems much more reasonable to your brain. You can mentally process it and your subconscious mind will start to accept the goal as possible. Its when we think something is possible that things start to happen.
Your next step in this process is to sit down and brainstorm all the different ways you can bridge your gap. Really get creative. Its the simple changes and ideas that make the greatest impact. Then take action on the items you brainstormed. If one doesn’t work then try another until it sticks.
Without action you will stay in the same position you are currently in or be in a worse one, a year from now. This I can promise you. Nothing happens without action. Without it you are merely a dreamer. So get moving and make yourself rich, its only a tiny gap.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Accepting Failure & Moving On
February 28, 2009
Last year I tried to start a business. It was one that I was very familiar with. I had worked in the field for over six years and I was a rockstar in it. I formed a collection agency business that focused on construction companies solely. That was going to be my niche. My brother had a tile business and had to close shop when a large customer refused to pay him. I thought the model was great. We ramped up and spent money to advertise. We invested countless hours in calling and working on the business. At night you could find me adding mailing labels to postcards etc.
By all appearances I thought the business would be great. I knew however in the back of my mind that there was a problem with my model. Collections is fundamentally a negative experience. I would be exposing myself and more importantly my employees to a negative interaction with another human being. If you have read my posts before you know that negativity is just not in my life sphere.
After about 6 months and countless dollars spent I pulled the plug and told the people involved that we needed to circle the wagons and regroup. They were upset and wanted to continue to chase something that was just not working. I told them that sometimes we have to let go of something to allow a better opportunity to come to us. About 5 months later a better one did and I am so happy. The business is based on helping people better themselves and realize their dreams. It is right in alignment with my purpose and is a hobby / business for me. It is not a chore. The model has a direct one to one pay ratio and is not dependent on getting unhappy people to pay debts they don’t want to pay in the first place.
I view the first business as a stepping stone and a pathway to something better. There are probably many things that you can look back on in your life that had the same characteristics. The more important thing for you to do right now is evaluate whether your current projects and plans are really working. Can they be redone? Or are you simply chasing the end of a rainbow out of pride? If its the later please stop, circle your wagons and keep your eyes and heart open for a better opportunity. It will come in time.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Are You Willing To Pay “The Price”
February 23, 2009
Often we set our hearts on a goal or something we would like to have in our lives and we consistently fail to realize it. For some inexplicable reason we stumble and the dream never materializes. We look back and blame external circumstances or people and events. For a select few they also look within and see that their own habits, thoughts and actions played a role in not achieving what they wanted.
There is a very fundamental question you should be asking yourself in these circumstances. Was I willing to pay the price? Paying the price of having your goal involves more than merely going through the motions. It requires a deep unyielding commitment to achieve your goal no matter what it costs you in terms of money, time, habit changes, thought pattern changes and release of unserving beliefs and activities. It’s that extra push of energy that a champion exerts to win a race or the last steps of a grueling walk to freedom.
There is also something very special about “the price.” The price is personal its not based on what others have done to achieve what you want. The price is solely determinate on what you have to do to achieve your goal and nothing else. Your price might be more or less than what is required of another individual.
You lose ground when you start making comparisons. Another person’s actions and thoughts can serve as a guidepost but they should never be set up as the standard for what is necessary to achieve YOUR goals. Your price is personal and should always be treated as such. Stop feeling sorry for yourself when you have to work harder to achieve something. There are a great deal of things you do with minimal effort that others struggle through.
Remember this and rexamine your recent setbacks to see if you were really paying YOUR price.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Stop Calling Your Income Disposable!
February 6, 2009
While driving home tonight from dinner I was having a conversation with Ray Stendall about how I built up disposable income for my new car. It struck me that the term “disposable” is a terrible term for individuals to use. It inherently makes you think of money as something that gets thrown away. Stay with me on this thought… If you think of money as something to be thrown away it means that you do not value it or respect it because its “trash.”
When it comes time to allocate where you spend money and how you decide to manage your income you will make different decisions if you change the way you talk about money. I challenge you to think about money as an investment. Say “I invested” in buying, food, clothes, paying rent, buying books or spending money on building my business. The fundamental shift in your thinking will over time change the way you spend money and your relationship to it.
By respecting money and taking it from being disposable to an investment you will have much better control of what happens when it comes time to balance the checkbook at the end of the week. Eventually you will also start to make mental choices you never thought possible. I personally want to continue to build my business. When I go out or make choices about where to spend my money, I think to myself “can I invest this” in my business or am I going to take the instant gratification that this purchase provides. It makes a difference. Often the smallest change in habits, especially your thinking habits, pay the biggest returns.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Are You On A Life Journey?
February 3, 2009
I listened to Kim-Gould’s Blog radio show this evening and she mentioned a very interesting term “Life Journey.” This concept is something I am going to be integrating into my being. My life is a journey with a series of challenges, trials and wonderful events. Thinking about your life in this way also helps you to remember that you do not have to reach any certain point by a certain time. You can let go a little bit and enjoy the ride.
We get so caught up in the hustle of daily life and “to-do lists” that we often forget to stop and enjoy ourselves. I saw a beautiful sunset tonight as I drove home in rush hour. I would not have gotten that gift had I not been sent out to a deposition that was a couple hours away. I also got extra time to listen to my affirmation cd and think about my vision of what I want to create in my life. So take time to notice the little things that make your life special, even in the middle of rush hour.
Christina Helwig
Retrain The People In Your Life
January 29, 2009
Now this title might seem a little controversial but the topic really has more to do with retraining yourself to not accept things from others that you do not like. I watched a great video this morning by Patricia Fripp who talked about this topic. She said that we start to run like trains through our lives. Always on the same track and if we are not careful the track we choose takes over.
In terms of the relationships you have with your friends, family, co-workers and even just general acquaintances this can add up to a lot of unconscious habits. I had a friend a few years ago that was constantly late. She never arrived on time and she would cancel after I had already arrived at a restaurant. Her behavior was totally unacceptable. However, I let her get away with it. I would say things like “oh I understand” or “its okay,” when what I should have been doing was telling her how I really felt.
After being stood up for several different events I finally broke and told her exactly how I felt. I let her know that I valued my time and I expected her to value it as well or we could no longer be friends. That shocked her. No one had ever spoken up for themselves with her and she had been doing this for years. Did my actions totally change her behavior? Sadly no, but I was able to stop being upset and feeling resentment over her treatment of me. For awhile she stopped flaking on me. When she started it again I made my choice and choose to be around people who treated me with more respect.
While the above example might be a little extreme I am sure that you can think of a few things that are going on in your relationships that bother you. Let me tell you a little secret. If you don’t tell the other person you never give them the option to fix it. You resent their actions unfairly.
Start to train yourself to speak up. Step off the railroad track you have laid down with the people around you and lay new habits. While you’re at it you should also take a hard look at your own actions to see if you are being the best friend, spouse, child, parent or co-worker you can be. Habits change overtime and sometimes the people around you will need gentle reminders before they can really implement the changes you ask for. Just be open and honest and have patience, your relationships will be stronger and happier if you adopt this process.
To learn more from Patricia Fripp visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Christina Helwig
Are You Providing Real Value?
January 23, 2009
“The Law of Value. Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.” ~ The Go-Giver.
Ask yourself today what are you doing to provide more value to the people around you? How are you improving the lives of your family, friends, co-workers and customers? Without providing value we stagnant our growth. We can fall into the trap of thinking that we will “never make it” or that we cannot do that which we most deeply desire.
To really live on purpose you should be providing value to as many people as possible. But remember that it is about quality, not quantity. For some time your business will only be able to provide the highest quality service to a few people. As you grow that will expand and then so will your economic power and reach.
Take a few moments today to think about how you can improve the level of service you offer to the people around you. Often a simple change in behavior brings huge results.
This is the very first law discussed in the book “The Go-Giver.” Again this book is a critical component of your library.
Please post how you will provide more value to cement your commitment inside your mind. Once you put something in writing it is 100% more effective at creating a change in your life.
To your success,
Christina
P.s. If you have not done so already you can join me in my Facebook group “Living on Purpose with Christina” for great discussion topics, homework assignments and questions to really make you think.
Mental Toughness ~ Do You Have It?
January 18, 2009
Yesterday I listened to Steve Siebold talk on mental toughness. Steve is a faculty member of ILG and he also runs the Gove-Siebold Group. Bill Gove was the father of public speaking and he trained almost every major personal development speaker out there including Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor and Larry Wilson.
Needless to say Steve knows his material. Steve also is my boyfriend’s direct mentor and is an amazing person. I got to spent some time with him on the Bob Proctor Cruise I took in October of 2008. Steve and his wife, Dawn are some of the most incredible people you will ever meet. When he coaches people on mental toughness he has them answer a series of important questions.
1. If you could wave a magic wand and have whatever you want in your life, what would that be?
2. What would your perfect lifestyle look like terms of health, wealth, relationships etc.?
3. If you could design your perfect calendar by day, week, month and year, what would your days look like?
4. Lastly, write a letter to a friend as if it was five years from today and you are filling them in on what has happened in your life.
These questions are important for you to think about when trying to build a life for yourself. The reason that Steve has you go through all these steps is that he wants you to emotionalize your goals. Without emotion mixed in with your dreams you will not accomplish anything.
You have to know your WHY? Without a strong why it will be difficult for you to achieve anything. This detailed process is one of the techniques that Steve uses to coach people on mental toughness. His book is absolutely fantastic and is a constant reference of mine. You can get a copy here: 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class
Most people will say that they want to be rich without any understanding what that means. Let me tell you something very plain and simple right now. THE RICH DO NOT SIT AROUND ALL DAY AND DO NOTHING. They WORK! Building businesses and developing products and new concepts is not an easy process or one that takes little effort. It requires a great deal of mental energy and long days and nights, especially in the beginning.
Answer the questions I raised above and make sure your answers are clear and crisp. Anyone picking up your responses should be able to clearly see what you want. The clearer you are, the more likely you will achieve what you write down. Don’t just pass this opportunity by. Really sit down and do this simple assignment. It will help immensely.
Christina Helwig
Affirmation Video From “The Secret”
January 14, 2009
This is a great little video to start your morning off with if you are trying to grow your business and attract wealth.
Visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com for more inspiration.