Watch Your Language
November 11, 2009
Tonight at dinner I said something that I was shocked at. I was talking with my boyfriend and told him to be careful or he would fall into a habit and potentially do the thing we were talking about when he was having dinner with someone important. He looked at me and said “You are important.” I am very into personal development and could not believe I had said that. I was shocked and it made me a little teary that I said that.
Pay attention to the language you use. Sometimes you’ll say things about yourself that you would never let a friend say. I had implicitly framed myself as unimportant. That was a big self image slip yet we all do this all the time. When is the last time you thought of yourself as important. Truly you are the most important person on the planet because you are what keeps you alive and here to share your gifts. Without you… there is nothing.
Christina Helwig
Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
November 3, 2009
I have what we’ll call a delicate family situation right now. For the last three plus years I have been jumping in and taking care of all their concerns without any regard to how my choices were going to stack up against me. I was so busy saving them, that I stopped caring about myself in the process. Now I have realized the error of my ways and I am pulling back my help.
You see… people need consequences so that they understand what their actions mean. If you constantly rush in and save a person they will never stand up for themselves. They will be dis-empowered and unable to care for themselves. My need to save them transitioned from a little sting to a massive tsunami in my life. You feel this constant guilt and social duty to help your family. Its incredibly difficult to step back and say no.
Its only because I have finally had my “consequences” hit me hard that I have started reaching for my oxygen mask. I have a big hurdle to jump over now to get myself back on track after I let this situation develop. I know that I am RESPONSIBLE for letting myself not take care of me first. You will never be happy if you live for others and not for yourself. You come first… period. Once you are taken care of… you can CHOOSE to help others. Let go of social stigma and feelings of guilt or they will run you into the ground.
A simple question to ask yourself is: if the situation was reversed… would there be anyone there to save me? If the answer is no, its time to blow back up your life raft and let them worry about theirs all by themselves.
Are You Scared Of What You Want To Manifest?
May 2, 2009
I’ve embarked on a path to drastically change my life and the lives of the people close to me. Now I am a few months away from really big things happening and I have to say … its a little scary. Mixed feelings of doubt, fear, excitement, happiness and a touch of sadness are circulating around me. At moments I feel all of them at once or one lingers for a bit.
I’ve been ecstatically happy and have broken down in tears several times. Every time the tears show up I am just on the cusp of a breakthrough. These moments I doubt my path, but I also do not quit. I grab my bootstraps and yank, hard. I dig and deepen my resolve.
These moments of fear are very common for everyone. The bigger the goal the deeper the fear. That’s just the way it is. Its in this critical time that most individuals quit. Change is unbelievably uncomfortable and nerve wracking. Sometimes its downright painful. The only thing that will propel you through these times is a very clear commitment to what you want and the persistence and faith that you will accomplish it.
I’m lucky to have a very strong set of people that believe in me and share my vision. Your environment matters so much in times of change. If you are surrounded with people who doubt you, their inadequacies and jealousy at your success will rub off on you and temper your dreams and resolve.
Next time the chaos sets in remember that its temporary and not a permanent fixture in your life. “Nothing splendid was ever achieve except by those that dared believe that something inside themselves was superior to circumstance.” Bruce Barton.
You are not your circumstances, your circumstances are not you. You can change anything in your life. You just have to do it one action or step at a time.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
The Mental & Physical Opportunity Costs of Clutter
March 5, 2009
Have you ever come home and looked around your house and thought; “what exploded in here?” Your closets are over flowing, your desk is piled with paperwork and your kitchen cabinets are stuffed with no real organization or sense.
All of this clutter and disorder takes a mental and physical toll on your body and mind. You have to work harder to function in this type of environment. Your mind is slower when thinking because you have to process all the information that your eyes see when looking at the clutter. The difference between a clean and organized desk and a cluttered one is immense. All of this contributes subtlety to your stress level and takes a physical toll on your body. I think most people have studied at least to a small degree the effects of stress on the human body. Here is a short recap = it’s not good.
An opportunity cost is the “cost of an alternative that must be forgone in order to pursue a certain action.” [investopedia.com] The alternatives that you are giving up are a clean and uncluttered home and a reduction in stress. You are also giving up a great deal of your time each second you spend searching for items you can’t find, shuffling items from one spot to another and generally dealing with the mess. That extra time is time you could spend on building your business, developing a new product, going to the gym or just spending more quality time with loved ones. Additionally you are giving up the potential money you could get from selling some items or the tax breaks you would receive for donating them.
The easiest way to start to unravel a home full of too many things is to start small. Pick the most important place in your house that you use all the time and clean it up. For most people this will be their desk. Then just begin to tackle other areas and get rid of the excess. You have to make room for the things you want to keep so that they can be organized and out of your constant field of vision. Think to yourself if I had to move tomorrow would I want to keep this, if not chuck it.
After you start this process you will be pleasantly surprised by the calm feeling that takes over in your body when you come home. You’ll be more efficient and effective and your mind will thank you.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Accepting Failure & Moving On
February 28, 2009
Last year I tried to start a business. It was one that I was very familiar with. I had worked in the field for over six years and I was a rockstar in it. I formed a collection agency business that focused on construction companies solely. That was going to be my niche. My brother had a tile business and had to close shop when a large customer refused to pay him. I thought the model was great. We ramped up and spent money to advertise. We invested countless hours in calling and working on the business. At night you could find me adding mailing labels to postcards etc.
By all appearances I thought the business would be great. I knew however in the back of my mind that there was a problem with my model. Collections is fundamentally a negative experience. I would be exposing myself and more importantly my employees to a negative interaction with another human being. If you have read my posts before you know that negativity is just not in my life sphere.
After about 6 months and countless dollars spent I pulled the plug and told the people involved that we needed to circle the wagons and regroup. They were upset and wanted to continue to chase something that was just not working. I told them that sometimes we have to let go of something to allow a better opportunity to come to us. About 5 months later a better one did and I am so happy. The business is based on helping people better themselves and realize their dreams. It is right in alignment with my purpose and is a hobby / business for me. It is not a chore. The model has a direct one to one pay ratio and is not dependent on getting unhappy people to pay debts they don’t want to pay in the first place.
I view the first business as a stepping stone and a pathway to something better. There are probably many things that you can look back on in your life that had the same characteristics. The more important thing for you to do right now is evaluate whether your current projects and plans are really working. Can they be redone? Or are you simply chasing the end of a rainbow out of pride? If its the later please stop, circle your wagons and keep your eyes and heart open for a better opportunity. It will come in time.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Are You Willing To Pay “The Price”
February 23, 2009
Often we set our hearts on a goal or something we would like to have in our lives and we consistently fail to realize it. For some inexplicable reason we stumble and the dream never materializes. We look back and blame external circumstances or people and events. For a select few they also look within and see that their own habits, thoughts and actions played a role in not achieving what they wanted.
There is a very fundamental question you should be asking yourself in these circumstances. Was I willing to pay the price? Paying the price of having your goal involves more than merely going through the motions. It requires a deep unyielding commitment to achieve your goal no matter what it costs you in terms of money, time, habit changes, thought pattern changes and release of unserving beliefs and activities. It’s that extra push of energy that a champion exerts to win a race or the last steps of a grueling walk to freedom.
There is also something very special about “the price.” The price is personal its not based on what others have done to achieve what you want. The price is solely determinate on what you have to do to achieve your goal and nothing else. Your price might be more or less than what is required of another individual.
You lose ground when you start making comparisons. Another person’s actions and thoughts can serve as a guidepost but they should never be set up as the standard for what is necessary to achieve YOUR goals. Your price is personal and should always be treated as such. Stop feeling sorry for yourself when you have to work harder to achieve something. There are a great deal of things you do with minimal effort that others struggle through.
Remember this and rexamine your recent setbacks to see if you were really paying YOUR price.
Christina Helwig
www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Retrain The People In Your Life
January 29, 2009
Now this title might seem a little controversial but the topic really has more to do with retraining yourself to not accept things from others that you do not like. I watched a great video this morning by Patricia Fripp who talked about this topic. She said that we start to run like trains through our lives. Always on the same track and if we are not careful the track we choose takes over.
In terms of the relationships you have with your friends, family, co-workers and even just general acquaintances this can add up to a lot of unconscious habits. I had a friend a few years ago that was constantly late. She never arrived on time and she would cancel after I had already arrived at a restaurant. Her behavior was totally unacceptable. However, I let her get away with it. I would say things like “oh I understand” or “its okay,” when what I should have been doing was telling her how I really felt.
After being stood up for several different events I finally broke and told her exactly how I felt. I let her know that I valued my time and I expected her to value it as well or we could no longer be friends. That shocked her. No one had ever spoken up for themselves with her and she had been doing this for years. Did my actions totally change her behavior? Sadly no, but I was able to stop being upset and feeling resentment over her treatment of me. For awhile she stopped flaking on me. When she started it again I made my choice and choose to be around people who treated me with more respect.
While the above example might be a little extreme I am sure that you can think of a few things that are going on in your relationships that bother you. Let me tell you a little secret. If you don’t tell the other person you never give them the option to fix it. You resent their actions unfairly.
Start to train yourself to speak up. Step off the railroad track you have laid down with the people around you and lay new habits. While you’re at it you should also take a hard look at your own actions to see if you are being the best friend, spouse, child, parent or co-worker you can be. Habits change overtime and sometimes the people around you will need gentle reminders before they can really implement the changes you ask for. Just be open and honest and have patience, your relationships will be stronger and happier if you adopt this process.
To learn more from Patricia Fripp visit www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Christina Helwig
Mental Toughness ~ Do You Have It?
January 18, 2009
Yesterday I listened to Steve Siebold talk on mental toughness. Steve is a faculty member of ILG and he also runs the Gove-Siebold Group. Bill Gove was the father of public speaking and he trained almost every major personal development speaker out there including Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor and Larry Wilson.
Needless to say Steve knows his material. Steve also is my boyfriend’s direct mentor and is an amazing person. I got to spent some time with him on the Bob Proctor Cruise I took in October of 2008. Steve and his wife, Dawn are some of the most incredible people you will ever meet. When he coaches people on mental toughness he has them answer a series of important questions.
1. If you could wave a magic wand and have whatever you want in your life, what would that be?
2. What would your perfect lifestyle look like terms of health, wealth, relationships etc.?
3. If you could design your perfect calendar by day, week, month and year, what would your days look like?
4. Lastly, write a letter to a friend as if it was five years from today and you are filling them in on what has happened in your life.
These questions are important for you to think about when trying to build a life for yourself. The reason that Steve has you go through all these steps is that he wants you to emotionalize your goals. Without emotion mixed in with your dreams you will not accomplish anything.
You have to know your WHY? Without a strong why it will be difficult for you to achieve anything. This detailed process is one of the techniques that Steve uses to coach people on mental toughness. His book is absolutely fantastic and is a constant reference of mine. You can get a copy here: 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class
Most people will say that they want to be rich without any understanding what that means. Let me tell you something very plain and simple right now. THE RICH DO NOT SIT AROUND ALL DAY AND DO NOTHING. They WORK! Building businesses and developing products and new concepts is not an easy process or one that takes little effort. It requires a great deal of mental energy and long days and nights, especially in the beginning.
Answer the questions I raised above and make sure your answers are clear and crisp. Anyone picking up your responses should be able to clearly see what you want. The clearer you are, the more likely you will achieve what you write down. Don’t just pass this opportunity by. Really sit down and do this simple assignment. It will help immensely.
Christina Helwig
Perform More Tasks Of Higher Value
January 11, 2009
“Perform more and more tasks of higher value, and delegate, delay, outsource and eliminate tasks of lower value.” ~ Brian Tracy
This important advice from Brian Tracy is something you should take a look at. Are you currently doing more than you need to? Can you delegate any of the activities that are consuming your time? Often when we start a new business or work on a project we believe that we have to do everything ourselves. We think that everything has to be “perfect” and “just right.” This just isn’t the case. Things do not need to be perfect or just right. They merely have to provide great service and fulfill a solid need that your customer has.
To implement Brian’s advice take a look at what you are spending your time on. For example can you delegate the grocery shopping, watch a little less t.v. or hire someone to help you with paperwork? Doing this will help you focus on your core business and more importantly will help you focus on completing the tasks which advance your business and increase your income.
I encourage you to break all your activities into higher and lower value tasks. Then delegate or eliminate the ones that eat up your time.
To watch videos, listen to MP3s and download e-books from Brian Tracy visit: www.GlobalSuccessILG.com
Are You In The Top 3% Of Adults
January 5, 2009
I watched an interesting video today by Brian Tracy, in it he said that only the top 3% of adults have their goals written down. Do you have your goals written down? This is a really important question given that we have just crossed over into a new year. Right now is the time to reset yourself and get centered on what really matters to you and what you want to accomplish in the upcoming year.
Brian Tracy recommended writing down ten goals on a clean sheet of paper. He gave some rules for you to follow. 1st make sure you write the goals in the present tense. For example say I am X weight instead of I will be X weight. 2nd always use positive language. Say things like I am a non-smoker instead of I am quitting smoking. 3rd always use the word “I” in your goals. This makes the goal personal and your subconscious mind pays better attention to what you want. Lastly make your goals short and simple. Your mind will process the information better and you will be more likely to reach your goal.
To move yourself into the top 1% of all adults, Brian Tracy [who I watched on http://www.iLearningGlobal.tv] said to take one of the goals you wrote down and circle it. That goal then becomes your major purpose and the focus of each of your days until it is achieved. Isn’t it sad to think that only 1% of the population has a major definite purpose. What’s your purpose and how are you going to achieve it?
For more information how you can watch Brian Tracy’s video and other great videos from the world’s best speakers visit: http://www.GlobalSuccessILG.com.