Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
November 3, 2009
I have what we’ll call a delicate family situation right now. For the last three plus years I have been jumping in and taking care of all their concerns without any regard to how my choices were going to stack up against me. I was so busy saving them, that I stopped caring about myself in the process. Now I have realized the error of my ways and I am pulling back my help.
You see… people need consequences so that they understand what their actions mean. If you constantly rush in and save a person they will never stand up for themselves. They will be dis-empowered and unable to care for themselves. My need to save them transitioned from a little sting to a massive tsunami in my life. You feel this constant guilt and social duty to help your family. Its incredibly difficult to step back and say no.
Its only because I have finally had my “consequences” hit me hard that I have started reaching for my oxygen mask. I have a big hurdle to jump over now to get myself back on track after I let this situation develop. I know that I am RESPONSIBLE for letting myself not take care of me first. You will never be happy if you live for others and not for yourself. You come first… period. Once you are taken care of… you can CHOOSE to help others. Let go of social stigma and feelings of guilt or they will run you into the ground.
A simple question to ask yourself is: if the situation was reversed… would there be anyone there to save me? If the answer is no, its time to blow back up your life raft and let them worry about theirs all by themselves.
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